Brew Between Parallel Universes
Yes, some people did laugh at the Clown because they thought some of his theories to far removed from reality. And this may have been some what true as was the case with his theory for traveling between parallel universes. It was as was often the case with him, brilliant but in execution it was bound to be messy. He postulated, and this came to him in a dream, that he had device the necessary parameters to travel between parallel universes. But the scientific community and even the general public considered it absurd and even refused to carry out the necessary experiments, even to just disprove it.
The Clown had clearly stated in his brilliantly written paper that in order to travel between parallel universes one always had to turn left, that is to say that all universes were to the left of the traveler, because by some strange trait the universe had a symmetrical left tendency. Everywhere in the universe, every universe was to the left of the other, in a sense the universe did not allow right turns, and more critically this rule did not allow right matter formations, the implications to biblical teachings like being “to the right of the father” were blasphemous!
Now even respected scientist new that the Clown was on to something, there was already plenty of evidence physical and some even social and political that to the left was a natural tendency, and that a right tendency was in a strange sense a short term contradiction. That right was wrong and that left handed people were more right. Yes, the mounting evidence was on the Clowns favor but everyone had an absolute difficulty accepting the Clowns method of experimental execution. According to him in order to travel between parallel universes one has to turn left on a red light. Now immediately even the uneducated observer could see that this was going to involved a human cost. The Clown conceded that this would cause some human tragedy, that lives would be lost, but he pointed out that thanks to the laws of probability some lucky individuals would be able make it through to parallel universes.
The empirical scientist were quick to point out that no one to best of their knowledge had survived through a right turn on red, and specifically not the way that the Clowns formula called for it; for the executor, that is the driver, had to wait 3.0001 seconds to execute the turn left, that is, after the light had changed to red. This, really increased the chances of failure, but to the Clown it increased the chances of probability to an extreme, that was only possible to obtain if one strained the laws of probability on the side of the possible crash, thus increasing the opposite effect of improbability. In a quantum sort of way the pilot had to reach the possibility of being here, there or nowhere equally. Later this sort of experimental theory would revolutionize empirical research. Many experimenters went on to achieve great success by achieving the opposite of what they intended to achieve.
More brilliantly, the Clown correctly illustrated that if someone, had in the past, executed the turn left on red in proper synchronization, that we would not know it because we could not observe this individual from our universe. A successful turn on left disappears the subject from our universe, and we would never ever be able to say that the trip was or was not successful. The clown use to say easier to see that a cat in a black box will starve to death, even or specially if we do not look. So it should not surprise the reader that the inhumane part of the experiment was in its viewable test, because the subject technically disappeared from our universe therefor we would not have a definitive way of saying that the event, that is travel between parallel universes, actually had taken place.
One can always doubt that something has taken place when there is no physical evidence of it taking place. So the Clown had devised a wall that would arrest the traveler immediately after the initial success of the turn on red. The Clown knew that in theory the traveler was still one individual, but a successful turn on red, causes a severe shock that separates the atoms of a human being exactly three millimeters, this separation retains the form of the character, but as you all well know, if you separate atoms to such a degree they are invisible, with neutrino like properties, and they also reach an altered state of suspended development. That is, atoms this far apart cease to carry out bodily functions, like releasing farts in the elevator, or cell decay, that sort of stuff, so it is in a sense a perfect package for traveling, specially through cold and empty space. So the only way to trap this sort of traveler was to place a huge glass aquarium tank the size of a two story building to the left of him. Then fill this tank to the top with stout, stout had been selected by the Clown because it’s properties had consistently proven capable of slowing down human mass, the stout would create a barrier that would crash and shatter the travelers atoms. The traveler would of course lose out big time, but though we would not be able to see the scattered traveler, the bubblies generated by this dashing physical interaction; would prove that there had been a traveler moving between parallel universes that had unfortunately gotten stuck in beer soup.
Now there were immediately two huge problems with this: First, the proof denied the act, in other words to prove that the event had transpired the test was actually preventing the event. Second, as mentioned earlier, it was by all standards an inhumane experiment. Again the Clown resorted to the argument that no great feat had been accomplished with out some huge cost to humanity, the fact that his formula placed the human cost on the table for all to see was not reason enough to shunned it off as to costly to execute. Of course his arguments fell on deaf ears and incredibly, the local traffic police refused to let him carry out the experiment.
There have however, been plenty of documented accidents because people inherently have the urge to travel to parallel universes. So it happens, that often times without plan the human subconscious takes over and forces a poor imbecile to turn left on a red. Of course it does not work because as the clowns formula correctly states: “The turn on red must be executed “intentionally”, with full throttle, at peak traffic and three point zero zero, zero, one, seconds after the light turns green for the oncoming traffic. Now, no one has been known to consciously want to do this, and it is by the Clowns own calculations that the inherent problem, that primarily deters parallel universe tourism, is, that you are required to do nutty things under mentally sane conditions. As a result no known travel between parallel universes has taken place.
The Clown had clearly stated in his brilliantly written paper that in order to travel between parallel universes one always had to turn left, that is to say that all universes were to the left of the traveler, because by some strange trait the universe had a symmetrical left tendency. Everywhere in the universe, every universe was to the left of the other, in a sense the universe did not allow right turns, and more critically this rule did not allow right matter formations, the implications to biblical teachings like being “to the right of the father” were blasphemous!
Now even respected scientist new that the Clown was on to something, there was already plenty of evidence physical and some even social and political that to the left was a natural tendency, and that a right tendency was in a strange sense a short term contradiction. That right was wrong and that left handed people were more right. Yes, the mounting evidence was on the Clowns favor but everyone had an absolute difficulty accepting the Clowns method of experimental execution. According to him in order to travel between parallel universes one has to turn left on a red light. Now immediately even the uneducated observer could see that this was going to involved a human cost. The Clown conceded that this would cause some human tragedy, that lives would be lost, but he pointed out that thanks to the laws of probability some lucky individuals would be able make it through to parallel universes.
The empirical scientist were quick to point out that no one to best of their knowledge had survived through a right turn on red, and specifically not the way that the Clowns formula called for it; for the executor, that is the driver, had to wait 3.0001 seconds to execute the turn left, that is, after the light had changed to red. This, really increased the chances of failure, but to the Clown it increased the chances of probability to an extreme, that was only possible to obtain if one strained the laws of probability on the side of the possible crash, thus increasing the opposite effect of improbability. In a quantum sort of way the pilot had to reach the possibility of being here, there or nowhere equally. Later this sort of experimental theory would revolutionize empirical research. Many experimenters went on to achieve great success by achieving the opposite of what they intended to achieve.
More brilliantly, the Clown correctly illustrated that if someone, had in the past, executed the turn left on red in proper synchronization, that we would not know it because we could not observe this individual from our universe. A successful turn on left disappears the subject from our universe, and we would never ever be able to say that the trip was or was not successful. The clown use to say easier to see that a cat in a black box will starve to death, even or specially if we do not look. So it should not surprise the reader that the inhumane part of the experiment was in its viewable test, because the subject technically disappeared from our universe therefor we would not have a definitive way of saying that the event, that is travel between parallel universes, actually had taken place.
One can always doubt that something has taken place when there is no physical evidence of it taking place. So the Clown had devised a wall that would arrest the traveler immediately after the initial success of the turn on red. The Clown knew that in theory the traveler was still one individual, but a successful turn on red, causes a severe shock that separates the atoms of a human being exactly three millimeters, this separation retains the form of the character, but as you all well know, if you separate atoms to such a degree they are invisible, with neutrino like properties, and they also reach an altered state of suspended development. That is, atoms this far apart cease to carry out bodily functions, like releasing farts in the elevator, or cell decay, that sort of stuff, so it is in a sense a perfect package for traveling, specially through cold and empty space. So the only way to trap this sort of traveler was to place a huge glass aquarium tank the size of a two story building to the left of him. Then fill this tank to the top with stout, stout had been selected by the Clown because it’s properties had consistently proven capable of slowing down human mass, the stout would create a barrier that would crash and shatter the travelers atoms. The traveler would of course lose out big time, but though we would not be able to see the scattered traveler, the bubblies generated by this dashing physical interaction; would prove that there had been a traveler moving between parallel universes that had unfortunately gotten stuck in beer soup.
Now there were immediately two huge problems with this: First, the proof denied the act, in other words to prove that the event had transpired the test was actually preventing the event. Second, as mentioned earlier, it was by all standards an inhumane experiment. Again the Clown resorted to the argument that no great feat had been accomplished with out some huge cost to humanity, the fact that his formula placed the human cost on the table for all to see was not reason enough to shunned it off as to costly to execute. Of course his arguments fell on deaf ears and incredibly, the local traffic police refused to let him carry out the experiment.
There have however, been plenty of documented accidents because people inherently have the urge to travel to parallel universes. So it happens, that often times without plan the human subconscious takes over and forces a poor imbecile to turn left on a red. Of course it does not work because as the clowns formula correctly states: “The turn on red must be executed “intentionally”, with full throttle, at peak traffic and three point zero zero, zero, one, seconds after the light turns green for the oncoming traffic. Now, no one has been known to consciously want to do this, and it is by the Clowns own calculations that the inherent problem, that primarily deters parallel universe tourism, is, that you are required to do nutty things under mentally sane conditions. As a result no known travel between parallel universes has taken place.
posted by Ricardo Correa at
12:56 PM
