The problem with any great action is the amount of inner strength it requires, we are by nature excremental, our power is digestive. Consumption of the external world gives power within ourselves, we want to put it all inside of us, humane is a lie! We are HUNGER, hunger for all things is our solitary friend, and cravings do not hastily subside.
I had fears that this was true. Inner strength in a world where everything derived strength from consuming external things, just like in fiction in reality the impossible is required if we want to do the extraordinary. Did you call death yet? Mad dogs were howling at the moon, inner strength fuckers!
Perish. May a God accompany you in this night, may the Angels light your night and sing in wonderful chorus, follow your path, mine has already been burned by an inferno of obscure nature, I beg for your forgiveness, for having pursued you, and for having thought my situation so unique. The night is my friend I always sleep with her.
Dead is the night, liar I know you haven't called! As I was saying the problem with life is that we need internal strength but everything that gives us life is external, in fact with the exception of woman's creative nature everything that we produce is waste. So where or how are we to acquire this inner strength, from woman of course!
The only problem with that is that it is not to the benefit of the feminine to give males inner strength so that we can realize an internal condition. Sure nurses and mothers will be more than happy to provide us with comfort and infectious love, but wives will not and they are the only ones that produce real children. which is to say that they alone can give us inner strength, and again only wives have children, oh but nurses and mothers like us. I am not sure how much of this you understand, I am not explaining much of it because it should be so bloody obvious.
I woke up in my dreams many times intermittently, I was slamming my testicles with a hammer, biting my lips, crushing my teeth into each-other. Mortification is inevitable when you begin to attack something as endemic to life as destiny. You have to be prepared to become the abuser of the self, of your own soul, once you agree to that, you can pursue universal imbecility!
Destiny is not going to come out of the closet and attack you, universals just don’t do that, what they do is ignore you until you tear your heart out. Understanding this some great civilizations willingly ripped their own hearts out, that is without provocation; the reason for this was to diffuse the universal negator, diffuse universal indifference throughout the social group. But technically, and not in theory where things always work for physicists, this removal of the heart does not really work, it merely acts as an anesthetic for the practicing civilization, and anesthetics are temporary remedies that do not deprive the progression of the ailment, and when the anesthetic wore off these civilizations woke up to face universal indifference, that is, extinction.
Pianos begun to go off in my head. Fundamentals never escape music, the possibilities available to me were likely to be infinite. I was fortunate, I was fortunate in that I possessed a limited intellect thus in actuality my possibilities were finite. First I could try within my grasp to determine how rigorous destiny got, then I had to approximate what destiny would consider my net, net value to society. Meaning, of course, my value to destiny which could very possibly in the end not include the social as I knew it or at all!
I may have told you already that I was a thinker, and in my opinion that has to give me the highest possible value destiny could afford. I mean you, reading this, are obviously in need of reading me which may well mean that I am programming you for destinies sake. Besides if you were smart you really would not be reading this, your probably a teacher, a bell boy, a mechanic, a pilot, architect or numerous other things from blue collard to white collard with some grime. But you are reading me so by my judgment you are below me in the cultural planning food chain. That said you could feel insulted and stop reading me now which would only serve to place you further down the food chain.
So we now know that I am above all of my readers and if I could just associate you with some monetary value that would give me an approximate low dollar value of my starting worth. But the measure is more complicated than that because destiny does not use cash as a measure of human worth. By my best guess the value would need to be based on how many of me there are to replicate my task added by how critical that task is to destinies over all objective, this is of course an unknown so impossible to quantify, so I technically stand subtracted by intersecting effects, which can add multiply or subtract my importance externally and internally to my sphere of difference.
What did he say? For instance if my value was in my ability to be an uplifting prime minister deriving strength from tragedy during impossible times - when the end of tragedy after tragedy is not insight but rather only the end of it’s beginnings, that is good for me, but then if there is no war and therefor no tragedy for my, I shall never surrender appetite, then the loss is minimal. So the environment is a factor here. Now the other factor is quantifiable, it only has the following criteria: The uniqueness of my task, which we can also associate to a learning curve, and to the number of individuals more or less successfully pursuing it. And to get a hair splitting value out of that we compute the conditions of the immediate environment, which is to say if we are about to have another flood and I happen to have gills and it is in the interest of whom ever that we, I, survive then I am an essential. However if the forecast is for universal drought, well, one or two humps wins. And we compute that to our personal uniqueness and hope that destiny agrees with the results.
As I am tired of repeating I am a thinker. The history of the world as we know it has by an large been developed by two kinds of peoples thinkers and non thinkers. By non thinkers I mean those that committed themselves to action. Action is the opposite of thought to clarify that a Clown, that you will hear more of later, was fond of saying Action Is The Abortion Of Thought! Conquerors are aborted types, tennis players aborted types, most people not like me aborted types, football players more aborted that aborted types. No offense intended here just giving you the facts. No need for details either just be clear on this laboratory rats get hit over the head with a hammer because they are aborted types. Aborted types can be fed with preserved frozen artificially colored and flavored, microwave ready foods and they will not know the difference from the flesh gourmet. Aborted types get their legs shot off in the battle field after they have volunteered for a third tour and wonder how this could happen to them. The aborted types can be inspired by self help books, by falling rock for that matter, aborted types generally have an insensitivity to the world, and this insensitivity is the source of their strength.
Aborted types have the tendency to kill thinker types and quite successfully so. Thinker types never get the cheerleader nor the home coming queen which is why aborted types have better looking kids. Aborted types can cross an ocean not knowing what’s on the other side only to coincidentally stumble into a continent and, or success. After this they usually proceed to vanquished anything not quite aborted like they are. Of course as a rule when they try to conquer or cross an ocean they mostly perish in the act, but what they lack in forethought they make up with their over abundance. Aborted types are killed by the thousands or millions in wars and other actions, while thinker types just move out of the troubled country or refuse to act. So to make up for this aborted types reproduced frenetically and freely, and most of their children are bastards. It is their large quantities that betray the net worth of their success, they are indeed by an large failures but the monstrosity and greatness of the few that succeed is unprecedented.
Because of their monstrosity and thoughtless action they usually control thinkers. Yes indeed aborted types control us thinker types and this should give you real insight into what is fundamentally wrong with the world. And just in case you are an aborted type then let me repeat myself, the problem with the world is that it is controlled by aborted types.
Now there are two types of aborted types those that act and those that follow them, most commonly known as the masses. The masses just listen to the militaristic or patriotic brass being played by their aborted brothers and dance and sing to it. There are in turn two types of thinker types, those like myself with an incessant appetite for new thoughts and those, perhaps like you, that read books like mine because you are not aborted but also not yet your own thinker. Thinker types that are attempting to think have a tendency to become apostles for someone else’s philosophy.
Jesus Christ was a thinker type, Pontius Pilot was a non thinker type, the apostles were wanting thinker types that could formulate an alien’s thought but not their own, Judas was the only other real thinker in the gang of twelve, you can never really trust a thinker, but Judas, in a more rare sense than most because he was also an aborted type with a few coins to prove it. Honey we are eating out tonight.
Thinker aspirants think but they can not complete a thought, and all thoughts have a complete form and you cant just think them comprehensively in part, you have to think them whole or they do not make sense, and if something does not make sense you grab on to a thinker that does and write and even perfect his or her thoughts. Psychologist anthropologist and historians are perfect examples of the second rate goon squad of thought.
In fact we can conclude here, and by doing so I am not attempting to destroy those like me to perhaps increase my worth to destiny, rather I seek to tell you the truth and the truth has consequences. We can conclude that all of psychology was founded and is currently practiced by two types of wanabees, those that want to be thinkers in the complete sense of the word, but have hitherto failed to complete a thought of their own, and wanabee scientist that, that were never rigorous enough to follow the empirical disciplines of science. Now you may notice that I mention scientist in an almost separate category so I should probably follow it by telling you that there are really three types of categories. Thinkers, action types and scientist. I did not mention scientist earlier because they are really in an action type sub category . In the first part to build an economically driven materialistic society one needs scientist so as to secure a rigorous observable world that can be inherited and managed. This is action driven. Unfortunately for their families scientist are people that actually believe, incredible as this might sound, that if you can observe something and repeat it in an experimental environment, that this in principle means that it follows a law, and that through observation one can deduce the law, and apply it even to secure a mortgage loan. Thus the final and more terrible assumption that the law applied can assimilate the reality and in turn the truth of things.
Scientist are thus individuals committed to making the observable world attainable and they are by nature quite incapable of understanding the importance of not knowing certain matters. They can not leave the cosmic with its secrets, they can not comprehend the advantages of not knowing, the advantages of ignorance so well understood by the lower classes of society. Scientist fail to see how leaving the secrets as secrets places the burden on the universe. Scientist have to probe, to rape, to penetrate, to smell, to inquire, to hear, to listen, to see, to observe, scrutinize and sodomice, even to dissect every aspect of the observable world; and what is not observable they will observe with electron-microscopes and rip apart that which hides from them, in quantum, with super-conducting super- colliders, which is to commit cruelty to the cosmic with a billion zeros after it.
And as fanatic as they are about this, they completely collapse into a frenzy of incomprehension when someone mentions clairvoyance or telekinesis, two perfect examples of powerful unknowns. Who's to say that a telekinetic person could not induce the same propulsion as a super-conducting super-collider and cause, smash and break up of the atoms while a clairvoyant interprets the results. This is not only very possible but considering how cheap human labor is certainly more affordable than all those overly engineered sensors and magnets.
But lets go back to attacking psychology for I loath it so and scientist do to. No real scientist has ever bought that nonsense that psychology is one of the sciences. No self help ideology with whimsical speculations of association could ever be a science. Psychology is the product of bad childhood’s, of overbearing fathers, of insensitive mothers or even overly affectionate mothers that make husbands of their sons and turn them into sensitive, though incapable of feeling, voyeuristic listeners.
They, psychologist, find pleasure in the discomfort of mental anguish and they love melodrama. If someone were to pump oxygenated blood into their corpus they would merely move like animated puppets, this is because psychology handicaps. Psychology is a giant self help book and no one ever recovers from the disease of self help. And why should they, when they constantly face the horrendous irony that their self help is written by someone else.
I should, if I have not been insulting enough, point out sadly that philosophy is the mother of psychology and philosophy was not meant to have children anymore than poetry had to have religion. Abortion was illegal when philosophy became pregnant with this sickly baby, and besides philosophy is incapable of action so to abort was unthinkable. Get it.
Poetry could have children but it did not need to give birth to religion unfortunately poetry loves to be pregnant so this is a matter of consequences. When myth was in the womb of poetry a twin younger and lesser sister named religion was nourished and thus had. To have aborted her would have been to jeopardize the existence of myth thus religion was born only seconds after myth. Sadly for us, Poetry does believe in abortion but it believes more in being irresponsible. I happen to know from inside sources that the reason poetry had religion was because it wanted to be understood by a wider audience. Disgusting!
Quasi practitioners have kept these two girls alive but without their constant proselytizing, without their turning everything into a belief of madness, faith or subconscious agony these two would soon fade into oblivion.
Please do not forget that we are here to cheat destiny but one more word about scientist. Please understand that their sub-category is not intended to place them in an inferior category, scientist are vital for us to navigate within the restrains of the corporeal world, but scientist are not moralist which is why they can build a thermonuclear bomb for either good or evil. Scientist, like atheist, can be religious they can serve the right or the left, science is merely an instrument. Its practitioners while vocally conscientious have consistently displayed a disregard for the effects of their product, it is left primarily to those of action, and in some rare instances those of thought to add the moral imperative for the good of the whole. Scientist are in a sense the least human of all humans. They live in a substrate reality unaware that nothing is more real than the heart they ignore.
Jump start a dead horse! Did destiny have objectives or did destiny make decisions and adjustments as events expired in real time? If destiny had a goal I had great potential, and if I could, in my head device the design of the final plan then destiny would be my dance floor.
Destiny’s one weakness was my strength, that is, destiny, regardless of condition could not be flexible. I was more flexible than a rubber band, I could change destiny had to retain its course, destiny was tied to destiny! Not to be strapped to destiny would be destiny’s death. I quickly dropped the idea of devising a plan based on an evolutionary destiny. I could not argue that case destiny had to be hard-core, destiny was by all my measurements reactionary, there was absolutely no reason for destiny to make adjustments to real time events.
That had to be my advantage, and perhaps that is why I chose to believe that, anyway I did not see any benefit to a destiny that fluctuated in real time with the end result constantly being changed to optimize the scenarios. That kind of destiny would be very difficult for me to alter or surmount, it therefor had to be not!
That said, perhaps this is for you one of the best examples of how we choose our opponents based on our strength! So far we have the following facts: I was a thinker, destiny uses thinkers to web the fabric of continuity in a universe of infinitesimal endings. Destiny expected to harvest the benefits of my work posthumously, for me recognition and rewards denied, destiny maximizes its returns by capitalizing and capitulating.
I, subject to awareness, would opt for complete annihilation of all of my thoughts before subjecting myself to a martyred life for the sake of posterity. I would cheat destiny! Yet I was unaware of my true net value to destiny but more important destiny was a solid unchanging enemy, I was struggling against an enemy that was true to itself thus I had the clear advantage. This is because to know anything for a fact about anything gives one a tremendous advantage over it. Knowing that destiny was locked into a linear condition meant that without observation I could know both it’s position and its velocity, uncertainty need not apply.
Of course, at this time, I did not know either of these and so it was now that great thoughts are needed, thoughts that exceed all expectations, thoughts of such magnitude and greatness that even the genetic structured of the aborted types would be altered by them.
I needed to sleep, it was night time a good time for sleep. I slept. In my dreams I dreamt of this woman that had short hair and I was trying to convince her to grow it very long. I told her that tales tell us that cutting one’s hair leads to a loss of power, women cut their hair after they separate from a relationship to signify loss of control over the male, while growing their hair increases their feminine control of the masculine. She smiled at me, and told me that it wasn’t that long hair granted power but rather that men were made weaker by it.