THE SELFISH MODE

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

He, With No Name

The tunnel thing of course was not like the tunnel of love that you could go in, in twos and one couple after the other, instead it was clear that only one person could go in for the system would only tolerate one person. This was because it had been designed with a biological constituency and so like any physiological system it would reject and even attack intrusions with self developed antibodies. The system had been designed always from the outside so that only the outside was a known, which is why one candidate had been designated early in the experiment. His cells were grafted, implanted into the organism so that it would consider them endemic to itself. He had been selected in childhood and had been brought up next to the machine thing, touching it, kissing it and licking that thing so that it would consider him a parasite of its own breeding.

This lucky one would walk into that womb like thing which because of that we could call it a her, and in her he would see the truth and then come out and tell us. But come out he would not it was a tunnel from which he would not come out, they, the developers, were unable to design a way out so the system was closed. Once inside he was a dead man, his survival was calculated to be about 58 normal hours, and we did not know how long those hours were inside the thing, of her, because time was expected to suffer from side effects caused by the truth. There was even the possibility that time did not in truth exist in which case he would die a bloody bit faster than instantaneously.

This was most interesting because the innards of this thing brought with them the truth, but in fact the truth was supposed to be objective but he would have to become an integral part of the truth to see the truth, which made it all some what suspect. But we all knew philosophical theory was less than applicable and expected that the action part of the system would somehow compensate for it.

The man selected for this incredulous task was never baptized, never made a citizen, never given an education other than command of a language which had been generated explicitly for communication with the various parts of this thing machine. He was simply known to us as The Man, and that is how we referred to him. The Man had been made aware of his imminent death, of the critical nature of truth and action, best as was understood by us, and that this thing machine would concentrate the truth to such “critically” high levels that it would be observable and touchable by him. He would be entering INSIGHT only wearing a helmet like a human heart with a bunch of penises dangling from it. The rest of him had to be naked, for only his body would not be rejected by INSIGHT. The thing would somehow wrap itself upon him and yet it was not expected to crush him but rather to accept him. Remember that his death was expected more as a result of contact with the truth, something very foreign to humans and thus deadly to us!

The helmet contained a series of sensors that would allow the scientists and philosophers to observe data and thoughts that would some how eventually be reinterpreted as the truth. The truth would be in code, and it would have to be deciphered and this was a way to employ scientists and philosophers; and it was expected that the truth was worth all this. No one ever suffered from doubts about weather or not the truth was worth knowing or weather it was beneficial for us to pursue knowing it. I was of the opinion that anything that required this much effort to know had to be hiding from us, or we were hiding from it and perhaps that was the healthiest thing and our pursuing the truth, was probably a sign of bad health.

The helmet also contained a transponder that would pick up signals in every imaginable format and relay them out of the thing via chemical interactions, and standard wave transmissions. They even expected metaphysical communication which bystanders like myself would be able to sense. This helmet also contained a fiber optic multi-lens camera, though no-one really expected the truth to materialize in front of The Man. This was simply an extra step to secure access to the possibility of a visible truth. Naked, Helmet on, Chaos, Fuzzy Logic, Relativity, Quantum, Unspeakable Witchcraft, Artificial Intelligence, Fortune, Philosophy, Action, Biotechnology, Virtual Reality (a redundant term for reality not being the truth had always been virtual), he, The Man, begun the procession which only he could march in.

Remember that all things devised to seek the truth were themselves probably not a part of it and therefor most of this convoluted creation was a brilliant maneuver to trick each and all known things to absolutely deny themselves, to remove themselves, to expose themselves by a process of incredulous self denial; the logical assumption being that if things could be forced to deny and deconstruct themselves, that only that which is truth could remain, for only the truth would not find conflict in this struggle; for only the truth is untouchable and impossible to alter. Indeed here was the phenomenal possibility for a severe tragedy for the assumption was that the truth was not flexible, that the truth was always honest, and it was always what it was; we were not prepared to accept anything less, so not only was this the possibility for philosophy and science to meet their mondus operandis but also their death. Witches, Astrologers, Poets, Mystics and Religious were in the audience, hoping at last to dance and thrive on the remains of their tormentors.

The crowd on the platform was not overwhelming, we could easily walk without bumping into each-other and this was a good thing for I did not particularly like crowds they made me quite uncomfortable and if this had been crowded I would have gone home. Anyway the place was semi-quiet a certain tension reigned but we maintained a calm that was balanced by madness for only mad people seek the truth. Balanced was an important thing here because we had long deduced that opposites were balancing the world. You know if you know grief you also know happiness that sort of thing. Well, if we were seeking the truth we would be able to know everything that was false, and you could say that should make us all fortunate but it would be difficult for me at least to replicate the unreal, the lies, the false for the sake of balancing the truth. Anyway the critical question to me was whether or not knowing the truth would make the law of opposites balance obsolete. Certainly one can understand that if happiness is balanced by sadness then terrible things occur when there is more of one than the other. So if you had too much sadness you would want to kill yourself because the scales were off kilter. But the truth as it had long been propounded by philosophy was pure, and purity denied association with another, and if that other was what was false, the more the truth should be forced to deny association with it. To say it clearly the truth had to be elitist to the core. The truth was so unique and original that because of that it could not be known, and we were attempting to know the unknowable.

I waited with patience, I knew that there were many things we currently knew or believed to know to be true that this thing INSIGHT would destroy. I was helpless to calculate what they would be, and what they would cause, but what was false was soon to perish and having known my friends and myself to be false in many respects I expected much shit to happen.

Air floating, darkness weakened, intensified blue lights, digital noises, corridors of pain, cold perspiration, wet nostrils, escapes, dry moisture. We were not comfortable we begun to move around a lot. The Man was walking the plank, we were wrestles, we were not looking at each-other but looking into ourselves. Were this already the effects of the now activated INSIGHT thing. We moved from here to there, no reason in our actions certainly a sign of proximity to truth. We did not speak words though much seem to be overloading our minds, was this the psychological communication that they had warned us about? And if so how were we contaminated by it? What might it produce in us? And what of He, with no name? What was he seeing, feeling and thinking? Please rescue the goat.

It is so interesting to watch oneself moving through a crowd yet only looking into the self so that one is maneuvering through the world but guided from within, from seeing inside of ones own head and not looking outside at all yet having eyes that appear to be staring straight ahead. As if the world was really internalized, really inside of us and only externalized by our desire to look at it outside of ourselves. The Man was now perhaps walking into himself perhaps that’s why he, with no name, never questioned his duty.

The air begun to tremble, the scientists had warned us that we would feel a roaring earthquake sensation, and that the vibrations would resonate through the air and play havoc with our ears, with our senses of direction, with our senses! It was dark as it had been planned, though the darkness seemed less contrived, red lights glittered through the x-ray runways we were to walk or depending on ones ideas escape through. I went to the first deck which was again not so heavily populated, and did what we were all doing watching the, THE MAN move forward waiting for that flesh THING, to wrap himself into INSIGHT or for the thing INSIGHT to wrap into The Man. Waiting...

Suddenly on the first deck I saw Michelle, my ex-girlfriend, she was in the crowd I had no idea what she could be doing here, nor why she was invited but I was so concerned with the pursuing events that I ignored her, that is until the, THE MAN entered the INSIGHT thing and the trembling turned into a silent calm, a trembling calm, a calm of unmatched incertitude. Then I pulled the knife out of my pocket, I pulled the knife out of my pocket, repetition intended, and rushed up to the second level and before I knew what was going on Michelle had a knife in hand as well, and so did most everyone else; and we were a calm violent lot pursuing each-other with knifes, digging deep into skins while avoiding ours from getting the blade. Michelle, as if we were working in concert, was stabbing and wounding people on the first deck, and I was stabbing and wounding people in the second deck, and everyone was so busy stabbing everyone that not one of us noticed what was happening to INSIGHT or to THE MAN.

You, we, they, could feel the blood, our nostrils tasted blood, our tongues tasted blood, our minds wanted blood, the truth was blood. I kept watching Michelle perhaps because she had ended our relationship and so I could not trust her with a knife, or perhaps because she was a woman, either reason was valid. I was not however scared nor afraid of dying which we can construe as some truth being acknowledge by me from INSIGHT, for under normal circumstances I was by nature a hideous coward. Michelle seemed a bit more aggressive with the knife I was more defending myself which would indeed describe our relationship.

Michelle, you may want to know, left me like all the others, women were in the habit of leaving me, or, and I should say, making me leave them so that I would be responsible for the tragedy. Michelle had left me because evolution and destiny had given women a dormant gene that was activated by my presence. This was an antiMe gene and it made them dislike me in every way imaginable. It was a terrible gene, and with the continuing improvements in identifying genes, I suspected that in the near future researches would identify this antiMe gene and then I would push for a court order to have it removed or turned off at birth from every baby girl.

Now I know what you are thinking, that I am a bit crazy for speculating that the courts would forcibly endorse the removal of the antiMe gene. But my defense will be that no individual should be born with a prejudice towards another human being, and specially not, if that human being is capable of denying reproduction rights. So, to permit baby girls to be born with an antiMe gene, indeed would be, and is, a violation of my rights, and therefor to endorse a corrective process, enforceable by law, is humane and good. Parents will have to sign a writ of consent, for the antiMe gene removal within two and half months from the date pregnancy is determined. And mandatory test to determine gender will be conducted by law during the first medical exam. No more surprises for parents at birth, and doctors will suffer catastrophic liabilities if they do not report violators. I suspect that my case will set a precedent and once the gene responsible for skin pigmentation is discovered, it will lead to the standardization of one skin color for all peoples. my case will have made that arduous task easier to implement. Anyway Michelle’s antiMe gene activated itself and the poor woman was left with no option but to leave me.

I consoled myself by believing that it was a mother thing, that the mothers of this world had wanted to protect their daughters from me, for I was adorable and evil in many respects, and women might fall helplessly in love with me, and there being so many this could only lead to more conflict between women. Mothers, ever so wise, foreseeing a world infested by women in love with me, had deduced that the world would be a better place if this were prevented. They had in brief made their daughters hate me because they loved me to much.

You might question evolution for placing the antiMe gene in every female instead of just making me nauseatingly ugly. It certainly does not make economic sense but my conclusion is that evolution is not preventive but reactive. Mothers did not foresee my arrival, evolution was working with hindsight, but I was clear evidence that evolution could evolved within an individual life time. This of course left any woman older than me unprotected, and any woman younger protected by the antiMe gene, and I was such a fatalist that I instinctively went for the younger ones.

The stabbing continued for many hours, I don’t know at what time we stopped running, or stopped stabbing each other, cops never arrived and I woke up on my bed with the knife laying on my chest with more types of blood than an addicts needle. I wrested, there was no point on getting up, I suspected the truth had protected itself, I suspected the entire experiment had been a failure, I wrested some more, slept some more, forgot my dreams, never even saw Michelle in them. I was left now to ponder the results of the great experiment, it may have failed but as a thinker I would be able to deduce something from it, perhaps destiny had corrupted the experiment, but then why even let it occur, anyway destiny was in that picture, somehow, is some strange hidden form and I suspected it, and it must have suspected me.